Guide To The Morning After

This is a great post from a fellow contributor.  He’s given his tips on “the morning after” etiquettes and what to do in certain scenarios.  A lot of us have been in this position before and sometimes the situation is a little dicey.  Keep these tips in mind next time you have an awesome night out and “get lucky”.  Thanks @styleguyjoe for sharing.  We look forward to seeing you share more.  Everybody go follow him on Twitter now.  

 

Most of us have been there. Laying in bed having that conversation with ourselves, trying to figure out what to do next. Do we stay or do we go? Do we let them stay or do we make them go? What if we want to stay and they want us to go, or we want them to stay and they want to go? Welcome to the awkward world of casual sex the morning after..

Generally speaking, there are only two options. Stay or Go. The confusing part is figuring out when and who should stay or go.

If you wake up and realize:

Go or make/let them leave 
Stay or ask them to stay 
 ­That your beer goggles have gotten the best
of you.  
­That you are in your own bed 
­That you are related  ­They are more attractive than you thought 
you'd be capable of getting 
­That you are coworkers  ­That you'd like to see them again 
­ That you have no plans to ever see this 
person again 
­That you have a killer recipe for pancakes 
and there is enough bacon to share 
­That you have somewhere to be ­That you are not in your own bed but their 
bed is more comfortable than your bed 
­That they/you are married, engaged or 
otherwise committed 
­That you/they lied to get into bed 
­That money was exchanged the night before

How to ask them to stay

In some instances you want your new partner to stay and it will be necessary to ask them. For example, your beer goggles may have gotten the best of you but your partner is in a league above your own. In order to avoid rejection or them accepting an invitation out of pity, ask them to join you in something that you were planning to do anyway. Example: “I’m going to make coffee, would you like a cup?” or, “How about I make us a cup of coffee?” Here is another example. “I’m going to breakfast, would you like to join me?” or, “Do you want to go grab some breakfast? Here is one that your particular lifestyle may support. “I’m headed to the rental store to exchange my panda costume, would you like me to return your fox costume while I’m there?”

If you are at their place, I do not think it proper to ask to stay. Asking to stay sounds desperate and puts the host in a more complicated situation if they do not want you to stay. It also opens you up for rejection if they want to to leave. If they want you to stay, they will ask. If they don’t ask, make your exit. It is ok, however to ask to to join you in an activity that you were planning on doing anyway. Breakfast, going for coffee, returning panda costume, etc.

How to ask them to leave or make your exit

Inevitably there will be times that they will want to stay, or want you to stay, but for one reason or another you would prefer to part company. This is arguably the most unnerving situation. I believe in straight forward communication mixed with tact is the best course of action.

Start by thanking them for the evening, and tell them that you must go. Do not try to ease the tension with lies such as, “I got called into work,” or “I’ll call you,” if you have no intention of doing so. Do not apologize unless you have done something wrong. If they insist you stay, but you do not want to, hold your ground. Do not make excuses, be rude or intentionally hurtful. If you feel that you can explain your reason for leaving without a lengthy conversation, or increasing the tension, then do so. But, if you feel you must leave, then leave.

An example of what you could say: “Thank you for the great evening, but I need to go.” If they ask if you will call or if they will see you again and you have no intention of either, you can say something like: “Unfortunately not. These situations can get complicated easily, so it’s best if I just go.” Depending on her emotional make up she may get upset, but she will be better off than waiting for a phone call that will never come. If you plan to see or talk to them in the future, respond truthfully and follow up on whatever next contact you’ve agreed to.

If you want them to leave, the same rules and similar scripting can be used. “Thank you for the great evening but I have to get up and get my day started. I’m sure you have to do the same.” Hopefully they get the hint. If they do not, it is OK to be more direct. Example: “Would you like me to help you get your things together?” or, “Can I call you a cab or walk you to your car?” Again, do not make excuses, lie or apologize.

The fact of the matter is this; if you can not handle rejection, then casual sex isn’t for you.  At the same time, if you are not prepared to look someone in the eye and truthfully reject them the next morning, then casual sex is not for you either. Those are the two extremes, reject or be rejected. Everything else is a grey area. The most intimate experience that two humans can share is sex. I don’t care what anyone says, sex is never just sex. You’ve just shared this moment with someone. Regardless of how you feel the next morning, stay or go, show some respect.

Follow me on twitter and instagram for more menswear tips and advice. @Styleguyjoe on twitter and @styleguywc on instagram. Either way, search #styleguysays for quick reference to my posts.

Her Prince Charming

Big shout out to the folks at Rina Store for another solid contribution.   Make sure you visit their site and store at www.rinastore.com.  

 

“Every woman’s deep-down dream of the ideal man – is definitely a fashionable man. He always takes care of his appearance and tries to look his best. He is very self-assured and is not afraid to wear bright colors, which only emphasizes his self-confidence

For a man, being fashionable requires, above all, having elegance, adhering to certain rules, and avoiding common faux pas.”

from http://www.rinasboutiquestyle.com/ Rina’s Boutique Style Magazine Fall Winter 2013-2014 Edition

Thinking About Having A Baby Fellas? Here’s Some Tips

This was an article that we came across and thought all men should read and really understand.  If you’re trying to have a baby or planning on it there are some important things you need to consider to ensure your future kids are swimming at optimal pace.  You can read the original article here.  We want to give a big thanks to Elaine J. Hom for posting this article on LiveScience.

 

Trying to get pregnant is one of the most joyous and complicated times that a couple can spend together in their relationship. Much emphasis is placed on the woman’s cycle, diet, exercise and overall health. But what about the man? Are there things he can do to help increase the chances of conception? Here are a few tips to make sure that you are performing at your optimal delivery.

Male reproductive system

Before understanding the best practices for getting pregnant, it’s important to first understand the male’s role in the creation of sperm and the fertilizing of the egg. The male reproductive system includes the testicles, which produce testosterone and sperm. It takes roughly 72 days for sperm to be created, and sperm are stored in the epididymis (the outer structure of the testicles) for anywhere from 15 to 25 days. Here, the sperm mature and develop the ability to swim.

When a male ejaculates through the penis, the sperm move through the vas deferens tubes, and the liquid for “swimming” is provided by the seminal vesicles and prostate gland. The sperm then move through the woman’s cervix, into the uterus and up into the fallopian tubes. If an egg is present, it is fertilized there, where it moves down to the uterus and continues to grow.

Step 1: Get healthy

First things first, get a checkup from your doctor. There are a number of conditions that affect male fertility. For example, varicoceles, or varicose veins on the scrotum, can lead to a low sperm count and malformed sperm. Other conditions, such as an inflamed prostate or the mumps, can lead to infertility in men as well.

Weight also affects fertility in men. For men with extra pounds, their bodies convert testosterone in estradiol, which is a version of estrogen. This is especially true of those who carry their weight around their midsections. Weight problems can also lead to libido and sexual performance issues, which obviously obstruct the ability to get pregnant. The odds of infertility increase by 10 percent for every 20 pounds of excess weight.

Boost your nutrition intake — poor nutrition can affect the quality and quantity of sperm. Men (as well as women) should consume extra folate when trying to conceive. In women, low levels of folic acid increase the risk of neural tube birth defects, while in men, low levels of folic acid can cause low sperm counts. Take a supplement daily, or try to get it naturally from leafy greens, legumes, or orange juice.

Zinc is another mineral that should be in a man’s diet when trying to conceive. Even short-term zinc deficiencies can reduce testosterone levels and semen volume. Studies also show that zinc is needed to help the body absorb and metabolize folic acid, which is mentioned above. Vitamin E and C are also necessary for high sperm count, but too much can affect the sperm’s DNA.

Consult with your doctor to create a healthy diet and exercise regimen that will help you get to a healthy weight and be as best prepared as possible to conceive.

Time to give up the party life

If you’re a smoker, kick those cigarettes to the curb. Smoking lowers a man’s sperm count, and studies show that second-hand smoke can affect a woman’s fertility. Every cigarette smoked lowers the chance of her getting pregnant. The woman should also quit smoking, as smoking while pregnant can cause birth complications. And don’t pick up the pack again after she gets pregnant — second-hand smoke is dangerous for your children in utero and after birth. This goes for all tobacco — chewing tobacco has also been linked to poor sperm function.

In addition to giving up smoking, alcohol intake should also be reduced. Alcohol can cause a lowered sperm count, and a connection has been made between fathers who drink and low birth weight. While you may not need to give it up entirely, you should try to reduce your alcohol intake to no more than one to two drinks per day. It goes without saying that you should also avoid recreational drugs. If you are on prescription medication, talk to your doctor about how it may affect your fertility.

Check your environment

Chemicals in the workplace can pose a serious hazard to your sperm. Auto shops and dry cleaners often stock organic solvents, for example, which can alter sperm composition and count. Pesticides and other chemicals have been linked to birth defects and premature delivery. These chemicals can affect male reproductive health in a number of ways, including sperm count (a low count means lesser chance of pregnancy), sperm shape (can cause trouble swimming or unable to fertilize the egg), sperm transfer, (may kill the sperm or the chemicals may attach to the sperm and affect egg production), and sexual performance.

It takes three months for sperm to develop and mature, so limit your exposure to these chemicals at least three months before attempting to conceive.

If you are concerned about chemicals in the workplace, ask your employer for a copy of the Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS), which should detail any and all chemical exposure at your place of employment. The Center for Disease Control also offers information on avoiding workplace hazards like chemicals or radiation, which may affect reproductive health.

In addition to the workplace, there are a number of other environmental factors that can affect fertility. Underwear, for example, should be comfortable and allow enough air to cool your testicles. Tight briefs don’t allow air to circulate, so consider switching to boxers. Hot tubs and saunas can also cause the same problem, as the testicles need to stay cool and heat kills sperm.

Using a laptop? Same principle applies — the heat from the laptop can cause sperm production issues. Use a laptop cooling pad, or use the laptop on a desk instead of resting it on the lap.

 

http://www.livescience.com/44220-conceive-tips-for-men.html

Taking Care of & Choosing Footwear

Thanks to the folks at Rinastore for sharing their fashion tips on Man of The Hour.  We all know we could use as many tips as possible.

 

To make your shoes remained unblemished as long as possible, it is absolutely necessary to take care of it promptly and professionally. Online store Rinastore.com offers you a small set of helpful rules for care of footwear:

1. Choose footwear, focusing maximum attention on your size and features of your foot. To learn how to avoid common mistakes in selecting shoe – go to our website information.

2. Decide first for which occasion you are buying the shoes – whether it will be a pair for every day, an evening shoes or sport footwear.

3. Pay attention to the seasonality of your footwear. For example, DO NOT wear perforated or decorative trim shoes in the rain or slush! You risk not only to spoil the mood, but to lose a quality of fashion footwear.

4. Make sure that you have removed the dirt from the surface of the shoe with a sponge, brush or damp cloth before using any of the shoe care products.

5. Please be aware, that you must to protect the leather sole of your shoes with rubber pads to avoid scratches and deformation. You should be especially careful during the winter season, because of exposure to harmful chemicals, so often used on our streets in winter.

6. You have a great opportunity to take care of your new shoes and put a maximum attention right from the beginning. Other than a patent leather shoes, protect them with a special shoe-sprays. (important note: it should be on the regular bases)

7. Treat your shoes with care! Do not rush when you unlace your footwear; be careful when you unzipping or zipping your boots – rough movement and rushing lead to damage. While putting on shoes do not step on the heel, deforming it – use a shoe horn!

8. Make sure that you have few pairs of footwear for the winter season. The fact is that during the bad weather your shoes will expose to water, dirt, moisture, salt and street chemicals. Let the pair of footwear to “rest” for a while in order to be able to dry out and find the original form.

9. Do not clean your shoes before leaving the house at the last minute – you have to clean them immediately after coming from outside. Preliminary application of the cream helps to soften the skin and protects the leather from cracking. Give your shoes an extra polish regularly!
Caring for certain types of materials:

1. Leather footwear: clean and dry surface has to be treated with a thin layer of colored or colorless cream – wait for absorbance. Then the shoes should be polished, using a soft brush or a special cloth. As the dust and dirt are harmful to the leather, it should be removed immediately before treating and polishing the footwear.

2. Velour, suede, nubuck footwear: shoes made of these materials are the most moody and require more effort for cleaning. All manipulations must be carried out with extra care to keep the surface unharmed and to avoid accidental damage. Get a special rubber brush for removing the dirt. Make sure that the dirt was removed before applying a special appropriate tone shoe-care for products made of velour, suede and nubuck. Soaked shoes from velour, suede, nubuck must be brushed only in the dry condition. Do not apply regular shoe-cream, if you don’t want to lose the velvety surface of your favorite pair.

3. Patent leather footwear: dirty surfaces should be wiped and cleaned with a soft cloth, then treated with a special shoe-care for patent footwear and polish with a soft cloth again. Patent shoes should be protected from exposure to chemicals, should not be put near heat sources, otherwise that kind of leather may crack.

4. Combination skin footwear: for those models of the combined skin you must use special shoe-care, designed for combination skin only.

5. Synthetic materials footwear: we DO NOT carry footwear from manmade and other synthetic materials, but if you have them in your closet, you should wash them with plain soapy water and wipe with a soft cloth.

6. Textile footwear: you should remove stains and dirt with a brush or cloth and then to choose detergent and special stain removers depending on the type of fabric.

And the last important detail – in order to keep your favorite pair as long as possible in original color you should use as close as possible color of shoe-care. To avoid mistakes – test it first on non-noticeable parts of footwear! Well, and our main duty – to help you with our professional advice!

http://rinastore.com/take-care-of-footwear

Tips From A Female Pickup Artist

This is good….this is real good.  So good that we’re pretty speechless.  Many kudos to Laura Bercella for this post.  You can read her original post here called “10 Tips From Female Pickup Artist“.

 

When you hear the term “pickup artists,” what—or who—do you envision? If you’re anything like me, you think of men: Slithery, sexist men banded together to forge underground alliances of high-fiving bros, with the solitary shared goal of bedding women.

But thankfully, pickup artistry is beginning to broaden beyond the boys’ club. Leading the female-PUA pack is Arden Leigh, a Las Vegas-by-way-of-NYC “seduction siren” and author of The New Rules of Seduction. With her perfectly winged black eyeliner and penchant for PUA strategy-speak like “attraction switches,” “social proof,” and “opening the set,” Leigh is turning the pickup game on its head by translating it into a proactive approach that women can use to shamelessly chase what they want.

Related: Tips on Taking Your Tinder Game to the Next Level—Straight from the App’s VP, Whitney Wolfe

We asked Leigh, London-based pickup coach Kezia Noble, and NYC’s “guru of all things love” Amy Van Doran for a few of their best tips on, yes, picking up men. Keep in mind—this isn’t about desperation or cheap sex. “It’s not about finding men to sleep with,” Leigh says before qualifying, “though if that’s a woman’s goal, I support her in that.” Rather, it’s about “getting out, meeting people, increasing your numbers, and building a better social life for yourself.”

Related: Ask E. Jean: If 2,000 Times You Don’t Succeed…Text Another

1. GO SHOPPING.

Add this to the sad-but-true files: “Men who are in relationships usually don’t bother with grocery shopping,” Kezia Noble notes. What does this means? Your next fling might be no further than the Whole Foods’ dairy aisle. Same goes for men who are clothes-shopping. “If they go clothes-shopping, nine times out of 10 their girlfriends [are] with them, so look out for men shopping on their own—this is a good way to see if they’re single,” she explains. (Other top spots to scout for men are gyms, museums, and libraries.) For her part, Arden Leigh recommends doing things in groups and having a “fulfilling social circle.” She suggests joining “a running club, chess club, or philosophy meetup; wherever you think you’ll find people with similar interests.

2. MAKE SURE YOUR EXTERNALS MATCH YOUR INTERNALS.

By now we all know that looks aren’t everything (right?). But your physical appearance and the way you dress convey messages about what’s important to you—including what kind of partner you’re potentially looking for. “Knowing your type is important,” Amy Van Doran says. “Dress to what your taste is; make sure your external marketing matches your internal marketing.” With her trademark shock of red hair, Van Doran suggests wearing things that grab attention and serve as an automatic ice-breaker.

3. EYE CONTACT IS EVERYTHING.

Noble suggests distinctly making eye contact if you spot a man you’re interested in: “Women need to remember that behind all that cocky banter, men are actually incredibly frightened of women.” Initiating eye contact can help give the poor fellow a little courage.

4.  SO … TO APPROACH OR NOT TO APPROACH?

Imagine you’re knee-deep in Barnes & Noble’s magazine racks when you spot a fetching artist type sipping his latte across the aisle. You’ve made eye contact; now what? Leigh names three approach options. An “indirect approach” involves you tweaking your body language to signal that you’re open to him approaching you—try standing “in his peripheral vision and [hoping]” he comes over. Then there’s the “semi-direct approach,” which works if the man is with friends—here “you’d go up and say something to one of the friends because you’re not as nervous around them.” The third method is a “direct approach,” or walking right up to the guy. (For what it’s worth, Leigh usually opts for the indirect approach herself.)

5. TAILOR YOUR CONVERSATION TO WHERE YOU ARE (AND WHO HE IS).

When you’re striking up a conversation with a man, remember that “you’d speak very differently to a guy in a rock band than to a day trader out at a club—they have different social mores,” Leigh says. She recommends tailoring your pickup approach based on a man’s “attraction switches” (the specific qualities he’d need to see or sense in a woman to be interested in her). She suggests asking men about what they’re passionate about—especially the little-known, more obscure things.

6. REMEMBER, YOU’RE DOING HIM A FAVOR.

In any situation, being proactive and making the first move is, Leigh notes, “an act of generosity.” Whether that means exchanging looks or standing tall, sucking it up, and making a direct approach, Leigh wants women to remember that putting themselves out there can be scary, but it’s worth it. Amy Van Doran seconds that: “The key is thinking of it like you’re doing someone a favor—think, ‘You’re welcome! I’m amazing and I need to be in your life.’” Plus, she reminds us, confidence is alluring on any gender: “A calm self-assurance is very sexy if you’re picking up guys.”

7. TRY A LITTLE KINDNESS.

If you think “negging” is a solid way to worm your way into someone’s heart, think again. The classic male-PUA move (which uses vague insults to undermine a woman’s self-confidence, arguably making her more insecure and vulnerable to the PUA’s charms) “only works to attract people with low self-esteem,” Van Doran explains; don’t bother using it on dudes. Instead she suggests a heaping dose of good old-fashioned niceness when you’re trying to talk to a man—no game-playing necessary.

8. CRASH AND LEARN.

One of the biggest factors that hinders women from going for and getting the men they want is a natural fear of being shot down. Leigh urges women to stop letting their fear of rejection rule. “Go out and have fun,” she says, “and don’t be afraid to crash and burn—or, as we say, crash and learn.” Van Doran concurs: “My friends who are most successful [at picking up men] don’t take the nos personally; they only count the yeses.”

 

9. DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE VULNERABLE.

Letting your guard down a bit can be super-attractive for any gender. Who doesn’t love catching a glimpse of someone’s secret side? “A very alpha woman who can show a more tender, vulnerable side is intoxicating, and so is a shy or introverted woman who can demonstrate a more passionate or naughty side,” Noble explains.

10. SERIOUSLY, STOP OVERANALYZING.

One of women’s biggest trip-ups when it comes to sex and dating, Leigh says, is getting too fixated on details instead of focusing on the bigger picture. “You have to look at the big picture. Is he showing up? Is he treating you respectfully? Is he putting in effort?” Van Doran agrees, saying, “Being too outcome-motivated is not good.” It’s hard, we know (oh, how we know!), but it’s best to stay in the here and now.